true enough, two days after my last post, chaos started.
during an internal exam on the afternoon of the 25th, the doctor announced that my cervix was 4cm dilated and ordered that i be admitted as soon as possible. needless to say, i panicked. i had expected the visit to go the way all my other prenatal visits had gone: hi, hello, check here, check there, leave, have snack. now, she’s saying i couldn’t have anything to eat or drink because i just might give birth later that night.
4cm dilated and true to form, i had no idea. i didn’t feel anything different and was actually a bit concerned that the baby seemed to not be ‘dropping’ the way the books said he should be.
then it was the next morning and i was still at 4cm and felt no contractions. by then, i’ve persuaded the doctor-on-duty that i really, really deserved dinner *and* breakfast.
then it was almost mid-day and i was 8cm dilated but there were still no contractions and so contractions had to be induced. in half an hour i started to feel uncomfortable. another ten minutes and i was in agony. just when i thought it couldn’t get any more painful, it did.
contractions so, so, *so* intense began to rock my whole being and, suddenly, i became that woman. the crazy, noisy pregnant woman in the labor room that everyone told stories of. sounds i didn’t even know i could make tore out of my mouth and into the world. i grabbed whatever and whoever i could grab and held on. i squirmed, i tensed, i screamed, i cried.
i begged for someone to jam a needle in my spine to make the pain go away.
two hours later, in exchange for the most all-consuming pain i’ve ever felt in my entire life, i met my son for the first time.
you know how practically every mother you’ve met has a story about sharing the labor room with a crazy, noisy pregnant woman? in stories, this particular pregnant woman almost always screams, cusses, moans extra loudly and, in turn, terrifies and amuses every other woman in labor who’s in the room with her.
i am going to be that crazy, noisy pregnant woman in several would-be mothers’ birth anecdotes.
two weeks to thirty-eight weeks.
it felt a bit like getting married all over again: invites, giveaways, food, photos, games, good friends and family. only i waddled instead of glided and i didn’t have to hold my breath to hide my protruding tummy. 🙂
big thank yous to everyone who came and made last sunday such a fun, fun day! and a giant thank you to atha for making everything so, so pretty! 😀
*photos from various people’s cameras
once we began seriously preparing the baby’s things, it didn’t take long before it became apparent that even before he’s out of my tummy, the kid already owns more stuff than alvin and i do combined.
i was half-hoping we could just stash all the baby clothes and other whatnot into the remaining space in the cabinet we’ve been using to keep our towels and linens in, but the boxes and boxes filled with miniature things in the spare room beg to differ. there’s no denying it — the baby’s going to need his own cabinet.
so we began looking for one. we made the rounds of the furniture places — the home and furniture sections of various department stores, stand alone furniture stores in malls, secondhand shops, online furniture stores — and came up with nothing. the cabinets we saw were either too expensive, looked flimsy, or looked flimsy *and* were expensive.
we decided the best way to go was to have one custom-made.
now, we got this ivory-colored shelf which we really love through a cashcashpinoy deal a few months back, it was made from recycled wood (another plus!) and we thought maybe we could get a quote for the cabinet from the seller. the company’s name was only wood but though we kept googling the name, we couldn’t find a way to contact them directly so we thought that was pretty much the end of that.
then one night alvin and i were driving along east service road in muntinlupa on our way home from somewhere and we drove right past only wood’s showroom! now if that wasn’t destiny, i don’t know what is!
they have such pretty, pretty wooden things but we fell hard for this cabinet.
i was so in love with it i was ready to go find the nearest atm so i could buy the thing right then and there and carry it home with me if alvin, who is way less impulsive than i am, hadn’t stopped me. realistically, though oh-so-pretty i still dream about it up to now, the proportions of the cabinet didn’t really fit our needs.
so we ordered one that did and it arrived today!
of course it goes without saying that this cabinet is really mine and i’m only loaning it to the kid until he saves up enough money to buy his own. :p
only wood ecological wooden furniture
165 east service road, muntinlupa, alabang
jerome blin: 0917-595.9459 / 238.1134 / email@example.com
i’ve been pregnant for thirty-three weeks. that’s a week over eight calendar months. almost three-quarters of a full year. technically, in as short as five more weeks, the fetus stretching in my tummy as i type this sentence can kick its way out and officially start life as a full term baby. an actual, real-as-you-and-me human.
yet half the time i forget that i have this tiny, live person inside me. i would walk briskly by a shiny surface, happen to glance at my reflection, and would be surprised each time at how big and round my stomach has grown. i would try to pick something up, instinctively bend, and would be surprised each time my protruding tummy would barely let my fingers touch the floor. i would be in deep sleep, on my side with a pillow between my legs, and would be surprised each time a sudden strong jerk from within wakes me.
and always there would be that feeling of disorientation. of disbelief. of wonder. me, pregnant. what?
people ask if i’ve had enough of being pregnant. if i can’t wait to give birth. even pregnancy books say that at this point, the novelty of it all has most probably already worn off. but i guess i’m as unconventional as my pregnancy has been, because i don’t want to give birth just yet. i want these last five to seven weeks to go slow, so i can stay pregnant for as long as i can.
because i know that once i give birth, life will fast forward and everything will go by in a blur and there will be nothing i can do to pause it or slow it down. good or bad, there will be no undo button, not even temporarily.
this loss of control, of my body, of my life, of everything that i know me to be, it terrifies me.
given the current size of my tummy (and how i’ve started to substitute walking with waddling to get from here to there the past couple of weeks), alvin and i decided that we can’t put off diaper-buying any longer. so last night found us at the landmark’s diaper aisle, inspecting pack after pack of disposable diapers with confused expressions on our faces. we looked so clueless i promise you the only things lacking were ‘first time parent’ signs tacked on our foreheads.
we’ve been advised to get small packs of different disposable diaper brands at the start so we can try each of them out and see which will work best with our baby’s butt. with this important piece of advice in mind, we carefully picked out a pack each of prokids, drypers, and, just to be contrary, this japanese brand weirdly named goo.n.
i wanted to gauge how long this first batch of diapers would last so i had alvin divide the total number of diapers by 8, which, according to friends and articles, is the average number of times a newborn needs to be changed in a day.
me: one week, that’s how long this stash would last.
alvin: what?! one week? what?! how many diapers would he need in a day anyway?
me: 8 to 10.
alvin: 8 to 10?!
me: yup, how many did you think?
alvin: i don’t know. 1?
alvin: …to 2?