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if i were to pinpoint when i began longing for a second child, i would have to say about a year ago. in the time between then and now, despite my attempts to stamp it out, the longing slowly turned into yearning; the ache to hold a second baby in my arms at times so strong i found it hard to breathe.

madness.

i wasn’t sure i wanted to be a mother in the first place and now here i am, wanting to be a mother of two. everybody i know must either be laughing their heads off or have fainted in shock.

all phases of motherhood are hard — from pregnancy to childbirth to child rearing, but these same phases also bring with them a certain kind of happiness i am incapable of explaining. the best way i can put it is like suddenly having access to a supply of love so abundant it can’t help but overflow and forge new paths to travel on.

universe, know that if one of those paths lead to a second child, i would be very grateful.

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temporary insanity

it was morning and i was walking along the taft avenue mrt station platform towards the open train door, not thinking about anything in particular when without warning, this thought popped into my head: it would be really nice if roque has a little brother or sister to grow up with.

madness.


the last pregnancy report

true enough, two days after my last post, chaos started.

during an internal exam on the afternoon of the 25th, the doctor announced that my cervix was 4cm dilated and ordered that i be admitted as soon as possible. needless to say, i panicked. i had expected the visit to go the way all my other prenatal visits had gone: hi, hello, check here, check there, leave, have snack. now, she’s saying i couldn’t have anything to eat or drink because i just might give birth later that night.

4cm dilated and true to form, i had no idea. i didn’t feel anything different and was actually a bit concerned that the baby seemed to not be ‘dropping’ the way the books said he should be.

then it was the next morning and i was still at 4cm and felt no contractions. by then, i’ve persuaded the doctor-on-duty that i really, really deserved dinner *and* breakfast.

then it was almost mid-day and i was 8cm dilated but there were still no contractions and so contractions had to be induced. in half an hour i started to feel uncomfortable. another ten minutes and i was in agony. just when i thought it couldn’t get any more painful, it did.

contractions so, so, *so* intense began to rock my whole being and, suddenly, i became that woman. the crazy, noisy pregnant woman in the labor room that everyone told stories of. sounds i didn’t even know i could make tore out of my mouth and into the world. i grabbed whatever and whoever i could grab and held on. i squirmed, i tensed, i screamed, i cried.

i begged for someone to jam a needle in my spine to make the pain go away.

two hours later, in exchange for the most all-consuming pain i’ve ever felt in my entire life, i met my son for the first time.

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hey, little boy.


the calm before the storm

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ANY

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DAY

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NOW.


pregnancy report #9

you know how practically every mother you’ve met has a story about sharing the labor room with a crazy, noisy pregnant woman? in stories, this particular pregnant woman almost always screams, cusses, moans extra loudly and, in turn, terrifies and amuses every other woman in labor who’s in the room with her.

i am going to be that crazy, noisy pregnant woman in several would-be mothers’ birth anecdotes.

two weeks to thirty-eight weeks.


april shower

it felt a bit like getting married all over again: invites, giveaways, food, photos, games, good friends and family. only i waddled instead of glided and i didn’t have to hold my breath to hide my protruding tummy. 🙂

big thank yous to everyone who came and made last sunday such a fun, fun day! and a giant thank you to atha for making everything so, so pretty! 😀

*photos from various people’s cameras

baby shower 00

baby shower 01

welcome! welcome!

baby shower 02

roque!

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everything was yum!

baby shower 04

pretty! pretty!

baby shower 05

onesies!

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party people!

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cooperation!

baby shower 08

game #1.

baby shower 09

game #2.

baby shower 10

roque’s wish tree!

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wishes!

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more wishes!

baby shower 13

alvin + jona + roque-in-the-tummy!

baby shower 14

mamang as The Grandmother.

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people in a giant yellow frame!

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the making of a framed photo.

baby shower 17

more people in the yellow frame!


pregnancy report #8

once we began seriously preparing the baby’s things, it didn’t take long before it became apparent that even before he’s out of my tummy, the kid already owns more stuff than alvin and i do combined.

i was half-hoping we could just stash all the baby clothes and other whatnot into the remaining space in the cabinet we’ve been using to keep our towels and linens in, but the boxes and boxes filled with miniature things in the spare room beg to differ. there’s no denying it — the baby’s going to need his own cabinet.

so we began looking for one. we made the rounds of the furniture places — the home and furniture sections of various department stores, stand alone furniture stores in malls, secondhand shops, online furniture stores — and came up with nothing. the cabinets we saw were either too expensive, looked flimsy, or looked flimsy *and* were expensive.

we decided the best way to go was to have one custom-made.

now, we got this ivory-colored shelf  which we really love through a cashcashpinoy deal a few months back, it was made from recycled wood (another plus!) and we thought maybe we could get a quote for the cabinet from the seller. the company’s name was only wood but though we kept googling the name, we  couldn’t find a way to contact them directly so we thought that was pretty much the end of that.

shelf #1

ivory-colored shelf made from recycled wood

then one night alvin and i were driving along east service road in muntinlupa on our way home from somewhere and we drove right past only wood’s showroom! now if that wasn’t destiny, i don’t know what is!

they have such pretty, pretty wooden things but we fell hard for this cabinet.

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love at first sight.

i was so in love with it i was ready to go find the nearest atm so i could buy the thing right then and there and carry it home with me if alvin, who is way less impulsive than i am, hadn’t stopped me. realistically, though oh-so-pretty i still dream about it up to now, the proportions of the cabinet didn’t really fit our needs.

so we ordered one that did and it arrived today!

roque's cabinet 01

whitewashed cabinet to be filled with all things baby!

roque's cabinet 02

i love the metal hinges and handles!

roque's cabinet 03a

we like it! 😀

of course it goes without saying that this cabinet is really mine and i’m only loaning it to the kid until he saves up enough money to buy his own. :p

 

 

only wood ecological wooden furniture

165 east service road, muntinlupa, alabang

jerome blin: 0917-595.9459 / 238.1134 / only_wood@yahoo.com