dear ms. merly

i cheated on you and i’m sorry.

there, i’ve said it. please understand that i had no choice. 800 (plus tip) was too steep a price to pay for a trim and i was going to wait until i needed a more substantial cut before asking you to do it. trust me when i say that i’ve been duly reprimanded.

it was horrible! granted, the head massage i got when they shampooed my hair was great, but other than that, it was horrible, i tell you, horrible!

the *child* who cut my hair kept fumbling with the clips and scissors like it was the first time he ever held them. you have no idea how nervous i was as i eyed him in the mirror. i had to tell him where and how much to cut the entire time, fearful each second that if i let my guard down i’d end up with a poofy helmet on top of my head.

if that wasn’t bad enough, he kept trying to chat me up! both you and i know that i don’t do meaningless small talk. i need you to cut my hair and that’s it. i don’t care if you think it’s ‘taray’ that i’m growing my hair, what i care about is you knowing *how* to cut hair!

thankfully, everything did turn out okay and i didn’t need to shave my head and start anew. but believe me, i have learned my lesson. i will never stray again. i took it for granted that i would get the same kind of service you give from some other cutter in a random salon and for that i have been severely chastised.

i hope you find it in your heart to forgive my (very small, one-time) transgression.

 

sincerely,

your number one fan,

jona.

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